Final Goodbye
by Matchin' Laces
Summary: A songfic about having to finally say goodbye, even after all those years. I'll leave it as a one-shot unless you want me to continue. Just imagine it with your fave newsie.
1. Default Chapter

Note: You definitely don't know this song. I wrote it myself. If you wish to use any of my songs, they're on my Monkees website on the bottom of the page. All I ask is that you e-mail me and give me credit for writing it. I would be honored in someone used my songs. Also, I'm willing to write songs if you can't find one on your topic. I tried to follow it as well as I could.  
  
Oh, and this is dedicated to an old friend of mine. I wrote this after he moved away a few years ago. I haven't heard from him since, but I still wish him a good life.  
  
A week ago, I never would have imagined this. My best friend was standing directly in front of me, telling me that he was moving...to New York. The small town in Texas had been his home for so long, as well as my own. We had been best friends since we met in the first grade.  
  
"Why," I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. As I looked up to meet his eyes, I noticed that they were gazing at the ground, as if ashamed the answer the simple question.  
  
"My dad," he began, "He got a job up there...as a journalist." I had known for a long time that his father had been trying for months to find a good newspaper job. I never imagined that it would actually happen. Now that it was true, I was I would simply wake up, as if in a bad dream.  
  
When the image before me didn't dissolve into nothingness, I knew that it was real. Immediately, I felt warm tears flowing down my face, mixing with the sprinkling rain all around me. I didn't dare look up at this point. I didn't want to see the expression on his face. An awkward silence came between us.  
  
"So..." he said slowly, "I guess this is...goodbye." I looked up enough to see the slight smile he was sending my way. I didn't acknowledge it. It was a dream, just a dream. The chanting however didn't work.  
  
"I guess," I told him, almost silently. I scoffed my shoe onto the sidewalk, faintly hearing the scratch of concrete against rubber. A gentle touch on my shoulder caused me to raise my eyes, only to have them quickly look down again.  
  
I felt his tight embrace before he said goodbye one last time. Then he walked to the moving truck and climbed inside. I waited until the roaring of the engine died away before removing my gaze from the damp sidewalk.  
  
I never had been able to tell him how I felt. All those years that we'd been best friends, I've felt something else for him as well. I remember being caught daydreaming about him one time. I was only in third grade at the time. Even then, I knew how I felt.  
  
***  
The next day at school everything seemed so different. The spot you usually took beside me at the lunch table was now empty, even though I could imagine your familiar figure sitting there and laughing. I could never be mad at you for you long, especially since this whole thing wasn't your fault. And even though I knew that I would never have the opportunity to tell you my feelings, I wished you a happy life, away from me. There was still a chance that we would see each other again.  
  
You were the first person to talk to me when I moved to town. I was really shy in first grade. A girl was jealous of me because you used to pay attention to her before I moved in the area. And when we went to McDonald's with your mom and we switched toys with each other.  
  
I remember how you always tried to get me to smile. You'd turn to me with a smile of your own and say four words, 'I see that smile'. No matter what, it never failed to make me smile, only make me laugh more. You loved to make me smile. It was almost as if it made your day to see happiness shining on my face.  
  
Then, there's the time you and another guy argued over me. It was a stupid argument. I was a third grader. Both you and another guy liked me. You were arguing over who would stand in front of me or behind me in the lunch line. I almost lost you as a friend that day when I tried to interfere. It wasn't until I begged and pleaded that you agreed to still be my friend.  
  
Those times were over now. In my heart however, it was almost as if they had happened yesterday. They were still fresh in my mind. I could remember every single detail from those days.  
  
When you uttered the words, "I'm moving." I wanted to do anything to make the nightmare go away. My heart still believes in us though, I can feel it. Maybe I'll see you again. Wouldn't that be amazing? To meet in college or at a job in a few years. Yes, I know that it seemed impossible, but I refused to give in. I wasn't normally an optimist, but it could happen. Still, I also know that you're not coming back, not back here at least.  
  
The pounding of the van door was still echoing throughout my mind, just begging to become like a distant memory. It seemed like you were just next to me, telling your jokes like always and making everybody laugh. Now, I can't even imagine your shadow falling into place behind mine.  
  
I had never imagined what life would be like if you weren't around. It had never occurred to me that something could break us apart. We had so much ahead of us. I could have seen us dating sometime, and whether or not it worked out, we'd still be friends.  
  
It's only been a day since I last saw your face, but it feels like a thousand years. My mind thinks that you'll soon come walking through that door, the usual smile lighting up your entire face.  
  
I should have taken the chance and told you the truth. That I wanted to be more than just friends. You always kept me laughing when I was upset. Even in first grade, we'd play together tag together during recess, not caring if it was just the two of us, and the game kept going in circles.  
***  
  
It's been years since you moved now. I still think of you though. I still pray for you and wish that you would have a good life. I pray that you'll find a girlfriend who's worthy enough to have you as a boyfriend. That no matter what tragedy may befall you, you'd always have a cheerful spirit.  
  
I like to think of you, even though it still makes me cry. It's been so long now, but I still remember you. I guess this is the point where I know that I'll never see you again. So, finally, I'll say the one word I've dreaded all of my life: Goodbye.  
  
(Chorus)  
This is our final goodbye  
Don't worry if I start to cry  
We can both no longer deny  
That this is our last goodbye  
  
You never even saw my face  
  
I feel so out of place  
  
Now that you're gone  
I couldn't blame you for long  
  
It was never your fault that it happened  
You couldn't have known at the time  
Now everything's changed since then  
My only wish is for you to be fine  
  
Things happen for no reason  
We can't go back in time  
But there's still hope in my heart  
That we'll meet again one last time  
  
When I first heard the news that day  
I didn't want to believe it was true  
But now I have to face the fact  
That you're never coming back  
  
(Chorus)  
  
I don't want to relive the past  
But time has caught up to me at last  
Nothing more can be done but to say  
Maybe I'll see you again someday  
  
I don't know how long it's been  
It seems you were just here  
But no one is now near me  
It's like you disappeared  
  
Who could have imagined the pain  
We still had so much to gain  
Oh, how I wish I could believe  
And just wake up from this bad dream  
  
It's hard to believe that it's true  
It's been too long since I last saw you  
Tell me you'll come back soon  
Or at least it'll soon be through  
  
(Chorus)  
Everything that was left unexplained  
I've kept hidden in my mind  
And I've tried everything to contain  
The feelings I have inside  
  
I should have taken the chance  
To tell you my feelings at that last glance  
Now that I know what time has done  
I see what I've become  
  
I should have taken the risk  
There's no time to waste  
If you can't see it through  
There's one more dream that won't come true  
  
Not a day goes by  
  
That I don't think of you  
So many dreams were lost  
  
But it's nice to think of you  
  
Nothing could have prepared me  
It really caught me by surprise  
  
I just wasn't ready for it  
  
So I'll finally say 'Goodbye'  
  
(Chorus)  
  
Before this song is over  
  
Before a dream is through  
  
I only hope you know  
That I'll always think of you  
  
I wish I had taken a chance to tell him  
What my mind was going through  
Hope everything is better now  
Than the world that we once knew  
  
(Chorus)  
  
(slower and softer)  
(Chorus) 


	2. Hoping For A Chance

Notes: Okay, I got a request to continue this story. I'll do the best I can with all the other stories that I'm working on. By the way, I meant that I wrote the song after he moved, not the story. I didn't even know who the Newsies were back then. I was 12, that was about 7 years after it came out. The last chapter was partly factual. I never knew that he moved until it was too late. I didn't even realize my feelings until he was gone. I never even got to say goodbye to him. And he moved during the summer, not in the school year.  
  
All the stories about them being kids are true. I did have two guys fight over me, he was the first to talk me and I did have someone jealous of me. And me and him always played 'tag' during recess. I have a lot more stories too. He was always really nice to me. And I did go to McDonald's with him. We were in first grade, but I remember sitting in the backseat of the van and seeing the drive-through window through the car window. I remember pulling out the toys and switching them. I even remember his old house, even though I was only there once.  
  
I wanted to write this story without giving away any characters. Obviously though, if I continue, I'll have to give him a name at least. So, I'll have his name in there, but you can substitute your fave newsie. My fave is Mush, so it'll be him. And I'll be using my original characters for the other parts. I have too many casting calls to take care of right now that I can't start another.  
  
I don't own 'I'm a Believer'. That belongs to Neil Diamond, the original writer. Yeah, the Monkees rock!  
  
I have good news though. I entered a Film Festival. It was yesterday. My group won second...out of two! I know, but the other two entered had difficulties and after spliting the money, I had only $6.25. I split the money up with the actors, including myself. The only bad part is, even my parents agreed that my group deserved to win first. It's not much of a profit when the prize money for second is $25 and there's 4 actors. First place was $50, which would have meant $12.50 for each actor if we had won.  
  
Shout-Outs:  
  
NadaZimri – I don't know exactly what it feels like to move much. I moved when I was four from Arkansas to Texas, then six to the town where I currently live, and just recently just farther down the road and in the same town. I do remember a lot of my friends moving though. In fact, my best friend for 6 years moved a few months ago. I know how it feels to miss people.  
  
HopeWasHere – Ok, I'll continue it. I liked it too. I never thought I could write a story that well with a song that I wrote myself. It's gonna be kinda tough though.  
  
I sighed as I placed a key into the lock of a light blue car. Every year around this time I thought of him, where he was, how he was doing. I just wish that I knew the answers.  
  
School would be out in a few weeks, summer would begin and I'd sit alone in my room trying to think of a million things I could do. I had eventually gotten over him, but there were times when I couldn't help but remember him. You don't just forget your best friend of six years who moved away about five years ago.  
  
At this time of year, it felt like the days couldn't move any faster. Instead they want to torment everyone, making the days hotter until it was almost unbearable. Being the type of person who preferred staying inside glued to my computer screen, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the people who wanted to be out in the sweltering sun getting tans or doing sports.  
  
Some people found it strange that I hated the rain since I hated being outside so much. There were days when I could stand the temperatures, but rain only made me depressed and feeling more alone than before. Also, you could never forget the chance of a power outage, which meant no precious computer for a few hours.  
  
It seemed that the machine helped me get through the days sometimes. I could write everything I wanted onto the writing program and not worry about someone trying to read it. My parents were sure to respect the privacy of what I wrote. I couldn't count the number of songs and stories stored into the computer. Most were songs of love, the love that I never thought I would find, especially after he left all those years ago.  
  
I opened the door of the car and climbed inside. Instead of immediately leaving, I turned on my car radio and listened to the oldies music floating out of the speakers. I smiled and started to sing along as I heard 'I'm a Believer' come on. It was one of my favorites.  
  
The roar of car engines sounded all around me, but I forgot them for a moment as I thought about the future, an opposite of the music I was listening to.  
  
I used to dream of seeing him again in college, hearing his name called on the first day. I would look up when I heard his voice, my eyes traveling over to him. Then, when my name would be called and I answered, I'd see him tense and turn in his seat to see where I was. Then, after class, we'd get together and talk about the good times.  
  
I also dreamed of meeting him again on stage. I'd find out that we got a part in the same movie. We'd play opposite each other, the love interests on film. I knew that they were only fantasies, but it was nice to think that I could possibly see him again.  
  
Pulling out of my parking space, I quickly looked back and headed on my way home. When I reached my house, I entered and went straight up to my room. I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now.  
  
I could just imagine the skyscrapers that seemed to brush the clouds. I had always been a lover of mysteries, and New York was one of them. I wanted to know everything about it. Too bad I would probably never see the city...not that I would have anyone to go with in the first place. One of my friends was little crazy, not insane, but just outgoing and loud. I would probably be dragged to every clothing store there if I ever went to New York with her, even though I detested shopping for the most fashionable designs. I would be perfectly happy with a hat of any kind for that matter.  
  
My other best friend would just drag me around the whole city. She would want to see everything. She was the hyper one out of all of us, but I was used to her by now. I considered her to be a miracle, because I met her when I really needed a friend. Even cooler was the fact that we shared the same birthday and that's what had given me the courage to talk to her. We were instant friends after that. It was only coincidence that I was standing a few feet away when she told her friend what her birthday was.  
  
I sighed again as I thought about school. While I couldn't wait for it to end, I didn't want it to stop either. I barely ever saw my friends over the summer, they were always off visiting relatives or vacationing. That just meant another year bored out of my mind and hoping that I can at least get out of chores for the day, which wasn't likely. One good thing was that my senior year was approaching, and my parents had agreed to take me on a trip to New York City the summer after. Maybe then, I would finally have a chance to find my friend again, even though it seemed impossible. 


End file.
